Can’t We All Just Get Along? A Realtor’s Expert Advice On Civility, Emotions And Not Taking The Massachusetts Real Estate Market Personally

by Rich Vetstein on September 19, 2010 · 0 comments

in Appraisals, Blogging, Massachusetts Property Values, Purchase and Sale Agreements, Realtors

Welcome back Guest Blogger, Realtor Gabrielle Daniels Brennan, from Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage, Sudbury, MA! Gabrielle and her mother-partner, Carole Daniels, just launched a fantastic blog, Living In Sudbury (www.liveinsudburyma.com), which our company, HubConnected, designed and created.

Having grown up in Sudbury and now settled there with her family, Gabby’s knowledge of the Sudbury and surrounding market is unparalleled. Plus, she re-defines “concierge” service, going so far as to ensure that her buyers meet their neighbors ahead of time, get local nannies, and find the right preschool. Gabby is writing today about the mutual respect buyers and sellers should have for each other during the real estate process.

Home Buyers And Sellers, You CAN Just Get Along!

Once upon a time there was a newlywed couple house-hunting in the suburbs. They held hands as they strolled into each house, they conversed with their real estate agent about every detail of their wedding and giggled like sixth graders whenever they spoke the words “husband” or “wife.”

Then, they found the house of their dreams. The dreams that mirror “happily ever after” — it was the house they imagined having babies (2 boys and 2 girls – the girls would be twins of course and would share a room painted with Benjamin Moore’s Cotton Candy).

The happy couple told their real estate agent that they wanted to make an offer for asking price, closing the exact day that the sellers wanted to close. They had enough money from their wedding gifts and unfortunate passing of Great Grandpa Charlie to pay for the house in cash. The husband dabbled in construction, so every item that appeared as a result of the home inspection would be “no big deal.”

Both sets of parents came to see the house and everyone oooh’ed and ahhh’ed instead of bringing up the fact that the kitchen wasn’t updated, or that the family room was a little smaller than what they had thought it would be, or that the garage was under the house. The parents all talked about how happy they were and they never said anything that remotely sounded like “YOU paid ____ for this??? Our house cost $37,000 when we bought it …” And then the sellers threw a welcome party for the buyers before they moved in – just to make the proper introduction to the neighborhood.

I’m sure you are thinking that this story is a work of fiction. Nope. Well, aside from the buyers volunteering to pay the asking price and the gushing in-laws, the concept of a truly pleasant real estate transaction doesn’t have to sound so foreign. Without compromising the financial objective of either party, the real estate transaction can be pleasant and satisfying to all parties involved.

The decision to buy or sell a home is as much a personal transaction as it is business. It’s an exciting one, and a process in which I truly love being involved. And although it’s certainly not as straightforward as a show on HDTV about finding the right house, it doesn’t have to be challenging. As much as buyers would like to say that they won’t buy with their hearts, that is crazy – of course they will. It’s a home. It’s where you live. It’s where your heart is. Your life is not one big business transaction.

Everyone remembers the details of their real estate transactions. Even if they bought or sold their house 12 years ago, they will tell you exactly how the buyers or sellers acted, the items negotiated during the home inspection, the credit they received, what they negotiated during the purchase & sale agreement, and the details that still make them happy or cringe.

They may not remember the date they bought their house, but they will remember everything about the closing.

I have been involved in scores of real estate transactions. When multiple persons are involved in the decision-making process for a major life event, so much can get lost in translation and people don’t always behave in a way that they, let’s say, would be proud of if a TV crew were following them around. In addition to the number of family members and friends who know EXACTLY what is best for you, there are many people involved in a real estate transaction — buyers, sellers, two real estate agents, two attorneys, possibly two paralegals, one mortgage broker, one appraiser, at least one inspector, and, sometimes, the nosy neighbor.

If my intention with this piece were to promote the value of experienced real estate agents, this would be the part where I emphasize that it is the role of the real estate agent to quarterback the entire team involved to ensure that everyone wins.

In general, buyers are excited to buy a house. When an offer is made, it is the beginning of negotiations with the seller with the goal of consummating the sale of the home.  In today’s market, prices have adjusted and many sellers are having an understandably difficult time grasping the reality of the market.

Because of the resources available in 2010, today’s buyers are also the most knowledgeable, well informed and cautious. The market value of a house is what a buyer is willing to pay. Without giving up any money on the sale side and overpaying on the buy side, there are so many ways in which to make the real estate transaction one that is not so painful.

My thoughts below may seem pretty uncomplicated, and that is my objective. It is easier to have a smooth and seamless transaction than it is to have one that feels more like an act of Congress. It is a business transaction, but the basis of the transaction is emotional. You certainly don’t have become new best friends, but cordial is always appreciated.

1. MUTUAL RESPECT. The tone of the entire transaction is set with the first round of communication between both parties.

*   BUYERS: Be respectful of the sellers and their real estate agent. This does not translate into paying more. It shows that you will be a pleasure to deal with. Appreciate your sellers. They have cared for and maintained the house you fell in love with.

SELLERS: Appreciate your buyers. They love your house enough to buy it. If you receive an offer the first day on the market, it is because your house was priced right and the buyers know the market. Don’t be greedy, it will backfire.

2. DON’T TAKE THE MARKET PERSONALLY

*   BUYERS: If a seller decides not to accept your offer, it has nothing to do with what great people you are and how many friends you have in common. It’s usually about the financial picture.

*   SELLERS: Most likely, you didn’t overpay for your house.  You paid what the house was worth when you bought it. It’s exactly what the buyers want to do now – pay what the house is worth in today’s market. I’m certainly not suggesting that you don’t get frustrated or upset if you are taking a loss or not netting what you had planned, just don’t take it out on your potential buyers. What you “want” and “need” to get for your house is irrelevant. Buyers will pay what they feel it is worth and their mortgage company will lend based on what they feel it is worth.

3. WORK SMART. CHOOSE YOUR REPRESENTATION CAREFULLY.

*   Work with real estate agents and attorneys with whom you are comfortable and have trust. This isn’t the time to cut corners and do someone a favor. You deserve to have the best people on your team.

4. HICCUPS

*   Every transaction has their “thing” – something that needs to be clarified, negotiated, extended, explained. Know this ahead of time so when your own situation arises, you know that it’s normal and just needs to be dealt with.

5. NEIGHBORS

*   SELLERS: Keep in mind that the buyers are now going to have your former neighbors as neighbors.

*   BUYERS: Keep in mind that your soon-to-be neighbors are your sellers’ current neighbors.

PeopleSudbury Wayland MA Real Estate Homes like to talk, especially about real estate.

At the end of the day, it’s about common decency. It’s about mutual respect between the buyer and seller of the same house. As much as this is a business transaction, it is even more a personal one.

Gabrielle Daniels Brennan and her mother, Carole Daniels are The Daniels Team of Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage in Sudbury. You may contact them by phone at 508-277-6956 (Carole cell), 617-320-8150 (Gabrielle Cell), or by Email to gabrielle.daniels@nemoves.com

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